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These days home doesn't feel like home. There is always something running at the back of my mind when I go for long walks in the morning. There's my favorite podcast that I listen to while walking, but there's a parallel voice that takes me somewhere on rocky mountains, besides round boulders of a cold melted glacier or an old European village with vast green grasslands.
Sometimes my wife and I ask ourselves what is it that we really want out of life, esp. after the recent trips we have had that has led us to slow the fuck down! We see our peers buying houses, buying luxury cars, consuming TV shows. We are more content just sitting alongside the ocean looking at the waves and making castles or just climb a mountain and feel the warmth of campfire.
Steadily we have started to realize that the more we venture into deep unknown trails, the more people would shy away from meeting us let alone travelling with us. It used to feel weird at first but we now understand that things are getting more and more uncommon between us. Because what would we talk about?
I have vivid thoughts of embarking solo on long treacherous journeys, in other countries, unknown trails, uncharted boundaries. The mere thought of it is scary and fogs my brain but there's also a grave smile on my face knowing that it will help me grow and be someone I always dreamed of.
I cannot go back now, I have come too far. I have seen enough fake smiles and cold hearts. I would never join the general human clad. I am fine with my family and whoever supports me. I understand that people may not understand the concept of dreaming to be free and taking action against the odds where most people fail to even think of. But I always look at possibilities and I would never let any opportunity go no matter what. It would be unfair if I don't act upon these dreams, these feelings. Yes, acting upon what you feel could be detrimental, but it has never led me towards unfulfillment. I have always come out happier and more content, ready to embark upon the next journey.
"Wilderness appealed to those bored or disgusted with man and his works. It not only offered an escape from society but also was an ideal stage for the Romantic individual to exercise the cult that he frequently made of his own soul. The solitude and total freedom of the wilderness created a perfect setting for either melancholy or exultation" - Roderick Nash.
I don't wince upon the corporate walls now. It has been more than an year since I have been away from them thanks to the pandemic. I have got more time to think and more time to devote upon things that are very dear to my soul, my calling. But lately, visiting Gaumukh Tapovan in Uttarakhand and serene beaches of Goa, I have had strange feelings of using my time on this earth to make the most out of it. I would do more, I would go on daring adventures and feel the fear, it makes me more alive and rushes the blood into my veins which would otherwise be numb of sick sad news licking crowd.
I want to walk in the wilderness, on rocks, on scree, on lush meadows, on fresh white snow. When I've had enough I would take it to the skies and jump off an airplane hanging in the air or maybe just dive right into the corals in awe of the whales. How lively would it be to sit outdoors and sip coffee in an old European village and lending a hand to the locals or just hanging around the game sanctuary in Kenya. There are lots more, many many more, but it is not usual, I would always look for somewhere other than the norm, where I have never seen civilization make its mark and I would explore that trail, and the one that lies ahead of it and the one that is beyond.
“No man ever followed his genius till it misled him. Though the result were bodily weakness, yet perhaps no one can say that the consequences were to be regretted, for these were a life in conformity to higher principles. If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal,—that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality... The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.”
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